Life Issues
To read more about some of the different life issues that can be addressed effectively, please select from the list below.
Abuse and Trauma - Release the Past
It is very common for people who have had an impact such as abuse or trauma to find themselves in a space of pain and distress. Unfortunately for many, once they learn to endure the pain, they find themselves stuck in a cycle of recreation as they know that life is about loving and joy but it all just seems just beyond their reach.
Victims of abuse and trauma usually report a keen ability to replay the event in their mind, consciously or involuntarily. For most victims, the event of physical, emotional or sexual abuse resides in their being ... like a skeleton ready to pounce out of an unlocked closet.
Their lives and those close to them are affected in many ways. Some develop psychological conditions
while others are physically or emotionally debilitated by the fear and trauma of the abuse, unable to function in their lives without the aid of mind altering substances.
One's self esteem and belief in self worth is affected and most find themselves caught in undesirable circumstances over and over again. While victims of abuse find themselves caught in the wheel of oblivion, survivors of abuse find themselves propelled to avoid the psychological and physiological traps that arose as a result of abuse. Either way, this causes stress on the victim/survivor in their bid for normality.
If you are or know of someone who is a victim of abuse, be assured that this need not be the only way of life. Survivors can overcome the odds and lead a normal and full life. There are lots of help available to support those who are ready to release the hold abuse has on you or your loved one. Some therapies work better for one individual than the other, so it is important that you find the best therapy suited most to you and your personal circumstances.
Hypnotherapy is one of the many therapies available. It is commonly the chosen therapy for a person who has been so traumatised that the mere thought of the abuse is enough to send them spiralling down the stairway to oblivion. Unlike other forms of talk therapy, one does not need to recall or relive the whole traumatic event. During hypnotherapy, we work mainly to address the emotions surrounding the event that we carry through into the present.
Heather sought hypnotherapy as a curiosity. She was raped in her late teens and the situation revolved around a car and power games by the aggressor. A decade had gone by and she was still affected by the memory. She had gone through counselling and psychotherapy and was pretty much leading a close to normal life if not for her one remaining symptom - flashbacks. She experienced spontaneous recall of the event usually prompted by a number or sequence of numbers. This made it particularly distressing for her to drive around. License plates would flash by around her as she drove behind cars causing flashbacks. Seeing the make, model or colour of a car could also jolt her back to relive the distress she felt from that memory, therefore resolving her composure to that of the traumatic event. Heather has managed to keep all this under control without others being aware of the trauma that still haunted her. All this tired and strained her mentally, emotionally and physically.
With hypnotherapy this visual lock was changed and she is now free of the associations she used to have with cars, numbers and colours. She now leads a happy and fulfilling life with her family free of the trauma of her past. She can still recall the event but the emotions surrounding it is gone. She now sees the event as just something that had happened in her past. She was able to move on even more fully than before.
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Release the Past
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Empower your future
Uplift Depression
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Life can be fulfilling,
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Be free. Be happy.
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Face it. Life it.
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You can do it.
Depression - is a word used by our modern society to describe a variety of states of consciousness and habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving in the world.
Typically, people who have been labelled to be "depressed" or suffering from "depression"
have some of the following symptoms - sadness, despair, tiredness, lethargy, grief, frustration, guilt, anger, sleeplessness, overeating, loss of appetite etc.
These symptoms and patterns of thought and emotions, tend to move in a cycle of its own, once it emerges in a person's mind.Their lives and those close to them are affected in many ways. Some develop psychological conditions while others are physically or emotionally debilitated by the fear and trauma of the abuse, unable to function in their lives without the aid of mind altering substances.
The cycle may have begun from something very real in one's life as a result of loss, trauma, fear, phobias, illness etc.
Whatever the cause, like a train of domino tiles, each symptom builds upon itself and soon, the person is in the wheel of depression where tiredness leads into frustration, which in turn escalates feelings of guilt and anger and so causes sleeplessness.
For people who are depressed, the repetitive cycle has begun and unless the symptoms are identified and the source dealt with, we are only dealing with the surface of the matter.
Medical professionals in today's society are very aware of the increased stress in people's lifestyle and many have prescribed medication to patients with a bid to help them climb off the wheel of depression and assist them back to a better quality of life through physical, chemical and neurological intervention. For some, this is enough to gain a balance back to normality but for most, the underlying cause still roars fiercely within their emotional, mental or spiritual aspect of their personality and that is the core of the problem.
Looking around us, it may seem like more and more people we know are suffering from depression of some form. Often, there is a feeling that the person is inadequate or stupid because of their inability to break out of the depressive patterns themselves. This can result in feelings of self-blame and helplessness which strengthens the cycle of depression yet again.
Sometimes, a person may know or believe they know, how the cycle of thinking or feeling began causing their depression. Others may not know and so, they embark on a search to understand the cause of their depression. Whatever their circumstance, the search for answers and remedies takes them further away from the real issue, the nature of their thoughts and emotions that has manifested this symptom of depression.
It is human nature to want to have answers for our existence. It is natural to search for the quickest remedy for our problems. It is understandable to want to take responsibility of our past but what is more important is what we choose to make of our current situation.
Our current situation is like a pack of cards we have been dealt with in a game of cards. The goal of the game is to play the cards as best as we can until it is finished but for many, when we open the selection of cards dealt to us, we freeze and give up or we get frustrated with the unfairness of the game. In a game of poker, the person holding the worst cards could still win if the opponents could be bluffed into believing the his hand was superior to theirs. In a game of gin-rummy, the person has a choice to exchange their cards for better combinations or to hold on to unwanted cards for fear that it will advantage their opponents.
In a game of chess, we all start with each piece in its own place. The aim is to get across to the other side as best as we can according to the rules. Depending on how we strategise, we find that the better we understand the rules and the other person who is our opponent, the better our chances of winning.
Life is very much like playing games. It can be fun when we let ourselves step back from the competitiveness of it and enjoy the company of the companion sitting before us as we play for the sake of enjoyment instead of winning.
In a game of Families, each player exchanges cards to complete their match while in Monopoly, we move through the board making decisions and takings risks.
No matter what game we play, it is all about strategy, decisions, movement and lessons learnt.
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Hypnotherapy and Infertility
Hypnotherapy and Endometriosis
A woman's reproductive organs is the core of her being, representative of her ability to create a safe sanctuary and ability to nurture. I have found in my clinical experience very often that there is a clear correlation of gynaecological problems with some form of threat to the woman's core.
It is important to note that I do not claim that all causes of gynaecological problems are linked to a disruption or imbalance of this core, as this needs to be considered on a case by case basis. However, there appears to be a strong relationship between the occurrence of gynaecological symptoms shortly after a disruption ie. separation, loss of partner or childhood issues.
In these instances, there is much that working with the mind can do to overcome some physical dis-eases especially if the cause arose as a result of such a disruption. This is not to say that the woman or circumstance has brought this condition upon herself because the mind-body connection exists as a two way street at an unconscious level. Emotional experiences land in the body naturally and worry in any form will intensify body dis-ease, consequently this can further contribute to the problem.
In fact, women who have gynaecological issues tend to question if their physical sufferings is "their fault". This is a great burden to carry and to feel blamed is to feel even more debilitated and stressed. You are not responsible for your gynaecological problems because hormones flow and messenger molecules travel through our bodies outside our conscious awareness and control. However, as a woman you can be responsible to change the makeup of the dis-ease and heal the source of the problem.
More importantly, I cannot stress enough the benefits of working in partnership with mainstream and alternative practitioners. We as a whole are physical, emotional, mental and spiritual and we need to acknowledge all aspects of ourselves to lead a balanced life.
Hypnotherapy and Infertility
There are many causes of infertility, some physical and others psychological or both. Some people have been successfully treated by modern medicine, while for others, the battle with infertility seems futile and the question of one's self worth and spirituality deepens.
None the less, infertility is an enormous condition to comprehend. Each individual person is different but the impact of infertility on one's marriage and personal feelings of well being is universal. Infertility treatments including drugs and invasive procedures create an enormous emotional ordeal. For most, the attack of advise given by well meaning friends and relatives unaware of the already stressful nature of infertility adds weight to an already escalating frustration.
Hypnotherapy is a proven adjunct in the treatment of infertility stemming from emotional causes, however a claim cannot be ethically made that clinical hypnosis impacts on conception rates because no compelling research has been carried out to date, apart from a study completed in Soroko University claiming that IVF success increased twofold with hypnosis.
Isn't it ironic that when one is consumed with trying to conceive, the chances of this happening reduces. Often a mental obsession can create a physical or emotional block that can disrupt the process of reproduction.
Interestingly, another aspect of infertility lies in the programming of the mind. How often have we heard of people trying unsuccessfully to conceive for years and when they gave up having a child of their own and adopted a child or gave up work that they became pregnant. If one delves into the mind, very often there is a decision made at one stage in her earlier life that she was not to fall pregnant. This may be the case for women striving for an academic qualification or career goal, who find themselves reminding themselves for years that "I have to do 'this and that' first. I cannot get pregnant yet." In these instances, the process is to identify if such mind programming has taken place and if so, to change the messages or beliefs held in the mind.
Clinical hypnosis can be considered to facilitate bodily relaxation to assist you to relax, focus and allow healing to take its natural course. Hypnosis can help to synchronize the body and mind so that they can work in harmony to achieve the desired goal, pregnancy. Depression and stress can also be eased or elevated with correct hypnosis to allow for an improved environment to support conception.
Often, deep fears are buried in the unconscious causing a blockage to fertility, often one is unaware of what it is let alone that it is even there. Healing can be facilitated safely and effectively during hypnosis to resolve any deep rooted issues that may be culprit to the blockage that has restricted reproduction and degraded one's view of life.
Hypnotherapy and Endometriosis
Case Scenario 1 - Abdominal pain
Amy began having severe bouts of abdominal pain at the age of 17, not confined to the period close to menstruation. There were times when the pain was so acute that she could not walk and the least painful position was rolled up into ball hugging her ankles. Prior to this, from the age of 10, menstruation was normal with some discomfort during the first two days only. At 23, Amy experienced 86% of the symptoms associated with endometriosis and was referred to a gynaecological specialist. She underwent two laparoscopies and a D&C but the results were in-conclusive and she was advised that even though no endometriosis could be found, it did not rule out the possibility of her having endometriosis possibly on the other side of the wall-lining. As a course of treatment, she was prescribed fertility drugs and was told that she would get pregnant by the first month after which everything would be fine. Amy was on the drugs for 7 months and finally, when she started showing signs of menopausal symptoms with hot flushes and night sweats, she abandoned mainstream medicine.
At 26, with therapy, it was linked that Amy's symptoms appeared nine months after she was raped by a man three and a half times her age, six months after her miscarriage as a result of the rape when she was 17 and two months after finding out that her boyfriend at the time was infatuated with someone else. Issues were addressed regarding aspects of sexual abuse, violation of personal power and trust, belief of her inability to fend for or protect herself (let alone a child) and the degrading of her personal worth. When all this was cleared Amy's symptoms disappeared and she conceived her child shortly after.
Case Scenario 2 - Endometriosis
This Scenario came to my attention when Susan came to me with issues surrounding her husband's unfaithfulness. They were in the midst of separation and she was working through the issues associated with that and how it affected her children. The children found out about their father's new partner and about six months after the affair was made public, Susan's teenage daughter started having severe abdominal pains with other symptoms. I recommended that she was taken to a gynaecologist with suspected endometriosis. This was confirmed and they decided to follow the gynaecological treatment plan.
It is very probable that the emotional trigger developed the distress in the form of endometriosis. Because I did not work specifically with the girl, I can only ponder on the likelihood of her feelings and probable cause surrounding her situation.
It is important to differentiate that the diagnosis is not caused by a male figure's unfaithfulness. It may only have served as a trigger to the condition. Therefore, this suggests that perhaps the person was susceptible to the condition given a set course of events.
Case Scenario 3 - Endometriosis
Kathy was referred to me shortly after she found out that her husband had been involved in several casual affairs but was now in a more serious one. It was a shock to her although she had suspected that this had been happening for quite some time. This had taken its toll on her physically and mentally, affecting her self esteem and confidence over the last 6 months. During the course of therapy, around the third session Kathy began having very severe abdominal pains which had become more acute over the last few months since she found out about her husband's affairs and I referred her to consult a gynaecologist immediately.
Kathy came back to see me two more times and her husband once independently but neither was ready to consider contemplating what changes would benefit each of them best. So they returned back to their previous setup of tolerance and lack of communication. The last I heard, the family situation is unchanged and Kathy's condition had progressed rapidly within 18 months to the stage where one of her ovaries and both her tubes had to be surgically removed. The one thought she kept in her mind throughout the course of therapy and which she was unwilling to change was "I can't bring a child into this family, knowing that the father will be this way. Anyway, we do not want children to complicate things if we separate."
This can be very characteristic of situational programming of the mind.
Negative Mindframes
Often, emotional difficulties are rooted in a combination of our genetic nature and the person whom we have become because of our life experiences. Our mind manages the impact of our experiences and therefore sometimes, it creates various forms of defences to help us through life disappointments, past hurts and failed expectations.
Negative mindframes are moulded as a result of these experiences at an unconscious level. It may be a negative mindframe towards the self or others. For close friends and family, they may find it difficult to communicate with such a person, and hence increase the divide even more with the failure to relate to one another.
Through hypnosis, we address the pain surrounding the experiences that warranted the creation of this negative mindframe. The stillness of this internal place allows us to access the wisdom that resides within and allows us to rise up to a new level as we risk being trustingly receptive to new ideas and possibilities, hence the stage is set for change to occur.
Your unconscious mind is encouraged to connect with yourself in a gentle and encouraging way that is profound and productive. The direct or indirect suggestions aims to release old ways of being, facilitate new ways of being or both. This in turn impacts on the way your feel about the world and how you relate to others.
Case Scenario 1: Mindshift
Sally was an elderly woman who gave her whole life to her children and grandchildren. She was at a stage in her life where she felt empty, unfulfilled and in many ways unappreciated. She felt that the majority of her life consisted of relationships where she was misunderstood and unheard. Despite her forgiving and light hearted nature people found her difficult to live with for long periods. She found herself wanting to defend herself often and felt that people including her family was unfair towards her.
With hypnotherapy and NLP, she attended one session after which, she returned to overseas. We worked to change her expectation of her environment and people in her life. We also addressed the changes she felt she wanted to make for herself and gave her the connection within her being to effect the changes when she felt most appropriate.
Her daughter called me up and said "I don't know what you did but my mother is a changed person. In the past, people dreaded talking to her because she would have so much to complain about but now, she is getting on fine with my sister-in-law. She is like a different person, so much more easier to live with. We definitely notice the difference."
Case Scenario 2: Mindshift
Betty was a young woman who had a very bright future as a national sports representative. Due to a chain of events, her vision of the future began to crumble around her and her life took a different course over the following three years. When she came to see me, life was uncertain, relationships were strained, her future looked bleak and her attitude indecisive. Within three sessions, this all changed and she began to effect positive changes in her life.
I received a letter from her family to share her progress. "Betty has gathered positive energy to go forward with the organisation of her life and make firm decisions and carry them through. On a daily basis, I notice her analysing situations with a positive attitude, therefore creating positive results for everyone."